What a Cracker

December 6, 2013

Good afternoon! Happy first Friday of December, we’re six days into our advent calendar and can’t help but notice that Christmas is just round the corner, (whether you’re excitedly festive or dreading Christmas shopping, it’s coming for you).

But in these long December days (even if 70% of that day is dark) we’ve been comparing that ever so slightly forced laughter-fest known as Christmas cracker jokes.


To get you in the festive spirit, we’ve compiled a list of the most heinous punch lines we’ve ever pulled from a Christmas cracker (along with a mini pack of cards way too small to actually play with).

  Who delivers presents to cats?

 Santa Paws

What do you get when you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker

 What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The Elf-abet

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?


They always drop their needles

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?


What did one snowman say to the other?

Can you smell carrots?


Some definite knee-slappers there! Think you’ve heard better? (or worse!) please share your own Christmas cracker jokes and we’ll see just how many corkers we can get!

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